Usual Place of Abode

June 15, 2007

Just add a midseason tourney, an organ, and some cougs

Filed under: Uncategorized — misterov @ 11:41 am

With the sweep of the Cavs making the Pistons look even worse, I started thinking about that other sport Detroit tanked in and how to fix the damn thing.

 

The NHL is a complete embarrassment from what it once was.  The NHL needs to cut it losses and focus on the positives they do have: true hockey fans and those that truly love our teams….during the playoffs.  We are not going anywhere, so why not make us happy?  Give us what we want, a better quality product.  The obvious answer is to get the sport on a real TV channel and allow the gloves to drop more often, but here are some other ideas:

 

1.  Focus on hiring talented announcers – Look, hockey is hard to watch.  You can’t really tell whats going on all the time.  You don’t always know who has the puck like you  know who has the orange roundy in basketball.  Announcers that can fluidly comment on the game, while knowing the right time to start yelling and getting loud makes watching a hockey game vastly more entertaining.  I almost rather watch a big playoff game at home on my [roommate’s] sick plas than at a crowded bar.  An exciting announcer with a color guy in the likes of a Jeremy Roenick, or Don Cherry, or Mickey Redman or Brett Hull will add the true hockey knowledge that so many of us don’t have.  No one plays ice hockey growing up.  And if you did, you never saw anyone else because you were always busy, playing hockey.

 

3.  HD – Hockey was made for HD, use it to your advantage.  On this note, hockey arenas are full of  cougars, lets see ’em more often.

 

Ladies, your girl Tyra has some advice on how to “join the hunt” from urbancougar.com

 

4.  Starting lineups / Rosters – Just copy off MNF and have the players introduce themselves.  One big problem with the NHL is that nobody knows who the hell these players are, not to mention most of them don’t speak English.  If they are American, I wouldn’t mind knowing what college they went to.  It always feels good to see a professional athlete who most likely threw up in the same bars you did.  Of course, we might get some pre-school shout outs, but I wont be complaining. Not from America?  Do the Google Earth thing ESPN [I think] did for the NBA playoffs.  Also, I think broken English can be somewhat entertaining, but as Sergi says, everyone is titled in their opinion.

 

5.  Pipe Organs – Get the techno out and the pipes back in.  Your really think die hard hockey fans are down with DJ Tiesto?  Put some loud pipes in. 

 

6. Original Six Mid Season Tourney – I do not understand why the NHL hasn’t done this yet.  The Original Six are such a unique aspect of the NHL and they completely ignore it.  Its where your real hockey fans are. 

 

Have one city host the tournament, rotating among the six teams every year.  Sometime before the All-Star Game split the six teams into 2 divisions by a random draw [Say Detroit, Boston, Montreal in #1 and NY, Chicago and Toronto in #2].  Everyone in the division plays each other twice [goal differential breaks ties], and the winners of the division play one game for the championship.  Hell, you could even have the winner host the tourney the next year to have some more bragging rights.

 

Why wouldn’t this work?  The Beanpot gets pub and NOBODY outside of Boston cares about Boston  area college hockey.  Mid-season tournaments are popular in other sports [they are all over the place in soccer], will encourage fans to travel, could bring some playoff intensity to the rather dull regular season, and would restore the pride in the Original Six and their fans.  Or Mr. Bettman could just continue to sulk in the corner wishing he was David Stern.

 

         7.  Canadians – Face it, Canada might not have a lot of people but they just cant  enough hockey.  Show them some fucking love.  Nashville, Atlanta, Columbus, and Phoenix have a team but they cant find a way to get another team north of the border?  I don’t know anyone in the world who would think that is a good idea.  Well, expect for him. 

 

I love making fun of Canada as much as the next American, but honestly, Canadians are some of the most honest, kind, even-headed, genuine people I have met.  They made hockey, give them a chance to bring it back.

Hockey will be cool again.  It will make a comeback, eventually.  A sport that has such an intense playoff experience will be popular.  Why? Because I said it was like that.

May 29, 2007

Chauncey ????????????

Filed under: Uncategorized — misterov @ 10:16 pm

Since the last post the Tigers got swept and the Pistons cant win.

Chauncey – what the fuck were you doing in the last few minutes?  Stop trying to draw fouls.  Stop it.  Right now.  Just try to fucking score.  Enough with trying to get the call.  I have watched you drive, jump sideways, brush someone’s shoulder, double pump, flare your legs, and toss up a brick a million times. You NEVER get the call late in the game.  Not once.  Wouldn’t you rather just score instead of relying on some ref?  I dont understand you Chauncey.  Step up or get the fuck out of town next year.  We arent going to win any championships with 4th quarter play like that.  Embarrassing.

May 25, 2007

Sheed, Pistons, Tigers, Whammy

Filed under: Sheed — misterov @ 3:14 pm

I will just come out and say it.  I cant get enough Sheed.

Maybe we had luck on our side for the past two games, but just remember we are Detroit, they are Cleveland. We win, everytime. Remember that over the weekend Sizemore.

Go ahead and check out some great Pistons blogs: Need4Sheed – where i got most of the following and Detroit Bad Boys

TUBES!!:

Suck shit, LBJ

Ball Dont Lie, Bogut

Reggie Miller is a bitch

Some more tubes from Need4Sheed:
Real men dont wear pink
Sheed getting hype

Might as well show some love for the other ‘stones:

Tuk-Tuk making it reign

Rip’s Twin

I’d put up a Webber highlight but I haven’t saw him do anything in 2 weeks. Whammy!

May 20, 2007

Whitest Kids You Know, Flight of the Conchords

Filed under: Uncategorized — misterov @ 11:53 am

The Whitest Kids You Know bring a funny ass clip about the jerk off gesture

You NEVER Make Them Touch

FOTC. Flight of the Conchords. Kinda like a New Zealand version of Tenacious D, without Jables running around getting crazy. These guys are pretty funny and I might be obsessed with them. Here is the pilot episode of their new series on HBO. And here are a couple tubes for your viewing pleasure:

Jenny

Gangsta Folk Crossover

The Bowie Song

Special thanks to the youtube user “JizzyMcJizz” for posting the Bowie song. You continue to inspire with your class and dignity.

May 12, 2007

I’m Dead…whats the score of the wings game, Pop v. Soda

Filed under: Uncategorized — misterov @ 10:12 pm

Amazing audio from a cop making a 911 call. Why did he have to call 911? The usual, he busted someone for having weed, took the weed, made brownies, ate them, then freaked the fuck out. Here is the story of how he was allowed to “quit” and the page has a link to the audio from the call. It really is one of the best things i have ever heard.

Get me a pop not a fucking soda, we arent the Outsiders and only dumb hicks say coke

April 30, 2007

Stay the fuck away from Weng Weng

Filed under: Uncategorized — misterov @ 12:00 pm

Weng Weng

April 18, 2007

The Time Has Come

Filed under: Uncategorized — misterov @ 2:56 pm

How do you argue against this? Makes sense to me. (read the whole thing)

April 14, 2007

Finals, Say What?, 300, Conan, Colbert, Papagenu

Filed under: Uncategorized — misterov @ 3:20 pm

Finals. Suck.

Dont you hate when you accidentally say black cock?

There are so many 300 edits going around, i might as well join in, will a man who, well lets just say people know him

Peep some inspiration from 2 great minds:
Conan’s speech at Harvard
Colberts Speech at the famous Knox College

Take it home Jables,
Tenacious D – Papagenu

March 28, 2007

Ever Wonder Why We Are America?

Filed under: Uncategorized — misterov @ 7:13 pm

Iranian army: Hey we are going to arrest you!

Brits: Really, we will still get time for tea right?

Iranians: Bend over.

‘Merica navy rolls a little stronger

March 22, 2007

Why Can’t I bet on the Future of OJ Mayo

Filed under: Uncategorized — misterov @ 1:29 pm

First, watch his last play in high school…

The Last Dunk – OJ Mayo’s Curtain Call – Final DVD Trailer

I mean really, is there any doubt he will be arrested, suspended, kicked off his team within months after the draft? I am going with, DUI w/pot w/guns and resisting arrest. As for on the court, in order to prove he is hot shit, I am guessing he tries the throw the ball off the other guys head trick, but against someone shitty, like my boy Rasho, and his team (Portland) will be down about 20 at the time.

He can’t come soon enough.

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